I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus OR Hemorrhoids Charades?

8-25-09

So, I’m not sure where to begin since I don’t know where I left off. Last week I went to a PC conference in Asunción with a contact of mine from the environmental school in Limpio about how to begin and develop new projects. It was pretty repetitive for PC Volunteers but was really impressive to see how motivated most of the contacts became by the end of the 2.5 days.

I went back to my site and had a meeting with my youth group. We’re working on a census for our barrio. There are 750 houses. Some of them really wanted to census every single house. That seemed impossible to me but it took me longer than expected to convince them. There are also some questions in there that seem problematic; i.e. “Does anyone in your family have a drug problem? How many people?” or “Do you have electricity legally (or do you steal it from us—your neighbors)?” We’ll see how it all turns out. Also, I was told tahat during the national census no one is allowed to leave their house. Does that not scream dictatorship? Anyway, we’ll see how all this turns out…

Saturday night I went to a Christmas in August PC party. Have you ever dressed up for a non-costume party and then been really confused (or just disappointed?) that no one else is dressed up? No? Oh, well, than…me neither. All I’ll say is that two friends and I had EXCELLENT Christmas outfits. We also did a gift exchange of gifts bought on busses for less than 10,000 Guaranís (US$2). I brought temporary tattoos that I brought back from the states which were actually a big hit—even with the Paraguayans. I freaked out the Paraguayans very briefly by claiming that the tattoos would come off in two or three months. Ha.

When I came back to my house Sunday evening I saw my host sister’s boyfriend’s parents and sister sitting in their car waiting outside the house. This surprises me every time. They do live in Asunción, which is an hour away by bus but I personally struggle to imagine Fred Franke, Anne Franke, and one of my siblings sitting patiently in the car while I go visit my high school boyfriend for several hours. Although, maybe that was why I was sent to boarding school??

The past few days have been good. My milk box recycling charla is being put off for now until the principal talks to the Board of Education to figure out a time to have all teachers attend. (Because of the short four hour school days, teachers usually have to work at several schools that are frequently far from each other and have to travel so cannot stay after school for meetings.) My charla with the women’s comedor group keeps getting pushed back as well, which is annoying. We’re doing teamwork/goal setting—both of which they DESPERATELY need.

Last night my host father and I talked about his health issues, AKA why he is the only Paraguayan I know who eats wheat bread and says you should only eat meat one time a week. It turns out to be hemorrhoids. That is a cognate in Spanish. I hope no one ever has to experience the description of hemorrhoids that I received. I will just say that there were a lot of details, pointing, and gestures that made me want to gag and/or giggle.

Also, today I was at the comedor talking to the women about when we will reschedule our charla (for the fifth time!!) and a woman told me, “Oh you’re so funny! People here don’t realize that rubias (blondes) are funny; we think they only know how to be conquistadors!” So, at least I’m breaking that cultural barrier. I may never end up doing this damned charla but at least some people now know that blondes do actually have some fun, contrary to popular belief…

Swine Flu Or Playing Sick?

08-10-09

So I’ve been horrible about blogging. July passed strangely. During the final week of extended vacation I was essentially bed ridden with a cold. I’m really not good at being sick—especially since I feel like with colds you should still be able to function. Adding to my guilt, because of the vacation there were only a handful of things on my to-do list so cancelling those to stay in bed and read just made me feel like a slacker volunteer. During this week I also had another absurd communication mix-up with my host family. I was asked by both my host mother and my host brother if I had “gripe porcina” but I heard “gripe por cine”, which means cold (as in sickness) for the movies. I didn’t quite understand but for whatever reason decided that they were asking me if I was faking my sickness. So here I am, feeling horrible, kind of wallowing in self-pity, and am being accused by my host family of just pretending to be sick. Days pass, I’m still feeling sick, I’m hating that I have to speak Spanish when I’m functioning on such a low level, and I scoff when my host family tries to be helpful and tell me that I shouldn’t drink hot tea and then immediately drink cold water. I find myself really annoyed at my brother and mother for accusing me of faking this sickness and I tell Barbara, another PCV amiga of mine, about the accusations. She then tells me that they were really asking if I had “gripe porcina”, which means swine flu. I didn’t believe her and actually asked a table full of teenage boys at the café where I was sitting. She was right, obviously, and when I explained all of this to my host family we all had a good laugh.

The next week was Reconnect back in Guarambaré (the training community) with the 30 people I trained with. We did language stuff and did a bit of technical training. It was weird being back in such a structured environment after the past 3 months (!) of being a Peace Corps Volunteer on my own. It made me realize that I really need to focus on Guarani, which I’ve essentially been ignoring for the past 6 months. I also realized that I really need to figure out a way to work with smaller groups in schools. I had really wanted some advice on classroom management, since I somehow have zero control of Paraguayan children, but realized that it is just going to take some time until I work well with a group of 60 kids in another language. We shall see.

I’ve started working with the elementary school in my neighborhood. I had been really hesitant to work with them because the last volunteer had had some issues with some of the teachers but they seem open thus far. It helps also that I know a bunch of the kids from the comedor so I came in with a solid fan base already in place… There is a program that gives poorer Paraguayan schools milk for each kid every day. This school is one of those schools, so they have like a billion milk cartons. They’re bigger than milk cartons you find at schools in the US. I was asked about ideas for how to reuse them, so I want to do a program with the teachers on how to use them for school materials. If anyone has any ideas, I’d love to hear them. Thus far I have: puppets, wagons (with bottle top wheels), puzzles, fraction teachers, dominoes, board games, gift boxes, building blocks, planters, Bingo cards, dice, name sticks (where you write each kid’s name on a piece then pull them out of a hat to ensure the teachers calls on everyone), bookshelves (may be difficult), instruments if filled with beans, geometric shapes, and purses. I realize that that is already a lot but they have an absurd amount of these milk cartons.

Ok, I think that is about all that is new in my life. I’m working in a bunch of different places, there is a TON of drama with the women’s group that I’m trying to avoid as much as possible. I’m trying to figure out how to start a sustainable tooth brushing program. I’m looking for a new place to live. I love my current host family but wouldn’t mind some more personal space. I’ve been riding my bike a bunch lately and simply love it! It is finally getting warmer here, thank God…though I’m sure that I’ll be complaining about the scorching heat in no time.

County Fair and Naming Babies

Saturday
7-18-09

Last night I went to the Expo with my host siblings, their 13 year old cousin and other 16 year old amigo. The Expo happens for about two weeks per year in Roque Alonso, which is even more of a turnpike town located between Asuncion and Limpio. The Expo was basically a supped up county fair. It is held in a shopping area/fair ground. They have an absurd amount of tractor displays (especially considering most small farmers still use animals to pull their plows), lots of car displays (complete with scantily clad women), a double-decker tour bus that you could explore (that you can take for the 16 hour trip to Buenos Aires). Some guys doing basic bike tricks drew a considerable crowd, though the bands playing in the stables of cattle didn’t seem to be a particular favorite. You could see new types of roofs, the (surprising to me) amazement of a basic fountain, how Itaipu dam was spending money, get a vaccination at the Health tent, get something inscribed on a necklace (which my 17 year old host sister did twice for her boyfriend), get your name put on a bead of rice (something I remember my real sister doing over a decade ago), get a characature drawn of yourself… It was like a county fair meets the board walk.

The way we spent the vast majority of the four hours was waiting for, and then finally watching, motocrosss. There were two motorcyclers—one from Australia with a bright yellow-with-flame-details jumpsuit who is supposedly the 2nd best in the world and a skinny kid from the US who was dressed like he was going to the mall with his high school buddies. The announcer was down in the field with them and would ask questions in English then translate their answers to the crowd of 8,000. The problem was that the announcer just made up his own answers. At one point, one of the riders said he was looking forward to going home soon. The announcer translated it as “He said that Paraguay is the best country he has ever been to!” What? Also amusing to me is that vendors of soda and beer yell that they’re selling soda and milk. They do this on the buses as well. Leche, anyone?

ALSO! Somehow I neglected to write a few weeks ago that there is this one excellent group of kids from the comedor that I spend a lot of time with. They’re siblings, kind of crazy, but sweet and generally listen to me. I hang out at their house sometimes, talking with them, their teenage brother, and their mom holding her infant. I asked the baby’s name after hearing he was 45 days old. The mom said she hadn’t decided yet, which struck me as slightly sad and odd. Offhandedly I mentioned that I like the name Alejandro. A few days later I was at the house again and the mom told me she had named the baby. I froze. She formally introduced me to David Alejandro…I’m just glad I don’t have the kind of pull to choose the first name!

I´m Cold and Swine Flu is Ruining My Life

7-16-09

I miss clothes right out of the dryer. That’s where my mind is. I’m freezing. I’ve slept with spandex, sweatpants, knee high wool socks, and several sweater/fleece layers the past few nights and all I can think of is my lone request to Peace Corps for where I wanted to be placed—no where cold. I told them, “I don’t care where I go or what I do as long as it isn’t in cold weather.” As I write this I’m in two sweaters, a hat, a hood, a fleece, spandex, jeans, socks with my feet under a blanket. Ugh. I wish I had a dryer…I’m glad I’ve already bathed today because I’m not sure I’d be up for the aftershock of a bucket bath. Maybe I’ll boil some water to put in my Nalgene to sleep next to tonight—another PCV told me that trick.

Life is S-L-O-W right now. This marks the end of the second week of winter break here. The first week I was soaking up the sun and enjoying fantastic food, drink and company back in Maryland for my sister’s beautiful wedding. It was fabulous, but flew by as expected. To curb some of the boredom I figured was inevitable with a two week school break I decided to turn my energy towards camps. I did an “environmental” camp at the comedor Monday and Tuesday afternoons. Environmental is in quotes because though that was my goal I ended up doing the camp by myself and was overwhelmed at times by attempting to provide educational activities to 40 rambunxious six to thirteen year olds. We did make 5 batches of Play-Doh though… Today and yesterday I helped my married couple Peace Corps friends with a health camp at their site, which is a few hours away. It was nice to see another site and eat delicious vegetarian cuisine for a few days. (I was welcomed back to Paraguay by a liver feast! Damn you, organ meat!) I’ve been looking forward to developing more of a set routine in the schools starting this upcoming week and have already planned some charlas. Unfortunately though, all of Paraguay’s children will be enjoying at least one more week of winter break thanks to the swine flu. Some schools say they’ll take the next two weeks off. I’m not sure how many Paraguayans have died thus far—I believe it is 6, though Monday I was told four people were dying per week in Limpio, the next day I was told it was 5 per day. In a country this small, it is amazing how completely scrambled gossip can become. People all over are equipped with tapa-bocas (surgical masks I believe is the English?) though there was also a claim that Paraguay was completely out of them. We’ll see how I spend the next week. I think I’ll go into the municipality to do some work, though I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if they took the opportunity to close as well. They do close their offices for the day at 1:30pm somehow… Silly.

Bathing in the Dark

6-27-09

I woke up at 6am on Thursday to be at the comedor at 6:30 with 70 kids screaming in Spanish and Guarani. Luckily these kids are great, love me and listen to me--unlike most of the other Paraguayan kids I've encountered. I gave each family an invitation to come to my site presentation that evening at 5pm. I also gave invitations to the women who run the comedor--and all of them came! I went back home, took a quick nap, then went to take a bucket bath. Somehow the fuse in the bathroom blew so I found myself bucket bathing in the dark. Our bathroom has no windows, though there is a hole in the ceiling that allows you to hear all of the dogs barking, cats fighting, and people bumping music so clearly that if the room wasn't so small you'd think them at your elbow. I spent a few hours wandering around my neighborhood delivering invitations. My boss is a very spunky Paraguayan woman who has been working for PC for years. She and the old volunteer from my neighborhood who is now her assistant came at noon.

We sat through the inaurguration for the Orthodontist where a German's Lion's Club donated a dentist chair and some dental tools. No one seems to know how exactly this will pan out. It is unclear how many days a week or month the dentist will be in to see patients. The first priority patients are the kids from teh comedor and the preschool age and under kids from the community center. I'm planning on doing some dental/hygiene stuff with the comedor kids when I get back from the states. You can literally see the cavities in front teeth of a bunch of the kids. Supposedly there are places to buy toothbrushes and toothpaste for super cheap. I want to see if the comedor ladies have any interest in getting involved so it becomes sustainable. We'll see.

After eating lunch in the Super LT--Limpio's supermarket caefteria--we went to my house to drop off my new-to-me bike (!) and box of random manuals and books and do a quick safety check. My actual site presentation turned out much better than I had expected. About 30 people showed up, as did some of my favorite kids. One man who is supposedly Marisco Lopez's great nephew or something had a great deal to say. He wanted to know why we'll called Volunteers if we're paid, why the US government could help but PY's cannot, why the US was wasting time sending people and not money...then he quoted the Bible, "Give a man a fish..." Later, when the San Juan festival was mentioned he asserted that I must walk across hot coals barefoot and that no one in the history of San Juan had ever been burned this way...as long as they had faith. I do have faith, don't I?? That guy is rather eccentric but simultaneously one of my favorite people in my neighborhood. Other than him, my presentation went without a hitch. Oneo f my new favorite contacts came with several people from his group who I'm going to start working with. They're really motivated and I'm psyched to work with them. All in all I was pleased with the day. I've been having dreams about that bike for weeks now!!

Saturday Reality, Dinosaurs, and Eating Rabbits

6-19-09

I’m so pleased with my life right now. I’ve actually been really shocked at how happy I’ve been the past four and a half months. There have certainly been days when I’ve done my fair share of swearing in English and have essentially cursed all of Paraguay and all Paraguayans, though I think that it’s inevitable when you plunge into a new place and culture. And there are certainly things that I could do without—i.e. having to suck meat off the bone, cat calls, having the same songs repeated at nauseum, bucket bathing—but today things are good. Today I finished an art project with the comedor kids and just really enjoyed my interactions with the women’s group and the kids. I had a promising meeting with a contact who is frequently too much for me, but who gets things done, about some projects we’re both interested in. I worked for the first time with an organization for kids who would otherwise be selling stuff on the street. They were excellent and there is a perfect amount of them (15) for art projects and games. They range from 8 to 14 years old. I’m going to aim to be there two times a week to help with homework and do art projects and games. Today we did the hands and feet parrots, which I simply love. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m sorry for you.

I walked the 3 kilometers home in absolutely beautiful weather and am now lounging in my backyard drinking terere. I have no plans for tonight and will probably do very little. I may actually do a little baking if I can motivate myself to go back into town. Tomorrow morning I’m planning on transplanting the vegetables we planted six weeks ago in the community center and told my host brother and his friend I’d bake for them if they helped again. Then we have the inauguration for the comedor. Even though it has been open for two months, they just got a freezer, fridge, and stove donated and delivered by the Mormons yesterday. They’ve been keeping food at their houses and cooking over a simple charcoal grill. Both have caused obvious problems—it is really smoky to cook over the charcoal and the grill stands like 2 feet off the ground so its tough on the back and the women have been accusing each other of stealing food when its kept at individual houses. The inauguration will consist of some traditional Paraguayan dances (obviously) done by the kids and them holding some signs welcoming everyone to the comedor. I’m sure someone will give a long winded speech. Afterwards I’m double booked to play volleyball there and to have a meeting with the youth group, though I assume no one will show up for the youth group meeting since one girl is having a birthday party tomorrow night. The third phase is celebrating San Juan tomorrow. San Juan festivals have been going on all through June and will continue through the end of the month. I am interested to see what it looks like tomorrow in the 3^rd Phase, especially after going to a logistical meeting in the church yesterday where they discussed where to put the game where a ball of fire is thrown from person to person. Another game called We Walk on Fire, while not cleverly named, should also be interesting to see. Apparently a great deal of games involving fire are played…I’ll definitely take some photos and write about how it all turns out, though I’ll probably wait until next year to participate…

*Here is a reality check of what actually happened on Saturday. (Written Sunday, 6/21/09). The transplanting got moved to Tuesday because my host brother was feeling lazy, which was fine by me. The inauguration went as I expected although I did not expect to spend twenty minutes afterwards speaking to two nice older American Mormon couples who were there to represent the donated goods. I would not have spoken to them for so long if the kids hadn’t been so incredibly amazed to hear conversations in English. The youth meeting was cancelled, as expected, but so was the volleyball game. The 3^rd Phase’s celebration of San Juan only consisted of selling deep friend food. I stayed for 30 minutes and then spent the evening watching King Kong with my host mom.

We had a bit of a communication mix-up while watching one scene. She asked me if I believed there were dinosaurs. I said, yes, I’ve seen the bones. Do you? She said no. We sat there in slightly awkward silence. I’m thinking, OK, she is really Catholic. Maybe her creation story doesn’t allow for dinosaurs…But I’m also thinking, that is absurd! I wish I didn’t know that about my host mom who I like and admire. Then I have her repeat the question. She asked if I believe there are dinosaurs…as in right now! We had a good laugh when she realized what I was thinking and I realized she thought I was some sort of a moron thinking that a T-Rex and King Kong are maybe duking it out right this moment on some island somewhere.

Other quick communication problem came with a girl named Doris who I’m working with at the environmental school. She asked what I’m planning on eating during my (quickly approaching!!) visit to the states. I start talking about crabs and how they’re so messy to eat you have to put newspaper down and how you use your hands to break the shell and your teeth to get the delicious meat out of the claws (I said arms since I don’t know como se dice claws in Spanish). Doris looked at me like I was the most disgusting person she’d ever known. Turns out I used the wrong word for crab. Instead I’m talking about pulling the meat with my teeth and breaking the shell and rolling up my sleeves to eat…Bunnies! And licking my fingers while I do.

I Didn´t Start the Fire

6-16-09

Last night I was working with the 10th grade night class of the high school in Limpio. I´m working with the kids when they have Orientation, which is essentially a free period that they have with the principal. Apparently she has no control over the kids. I found this out last night. I started off with an ice breaker on teamwork. Each group has to wrap a present (an empty matchbox) with some magazine pages and tape. Each person can only use one hand, so obviously team work is required.

My first problem was that the principal did not seem to care what was happening in the class, nor did she have ANY control over the kids. My second problem was that I somehow missed taking out one of the matches from one of the matchboxes. My third is that...umm...those kids are HELLIANS! So a fire was started. The kids started burning a handful of papers on the floor of the classroom. I couldn´t believe it. I obviously yelled at them but they did not seem to be in much of a hurry to put it out. After about 30 seconds of me telling the kid in Spanish to stomp it out (while swearing a great deal in English), he did so. I gave the class a lecture. The principal walked out. The kids were better for about 8 minutes. We changed activities, each kid was given a handful of dried beans. I then had several beans thrown at me.

By the end of the class I was convinced never to have children. I told the principal I didn´t think I was interested in working with that particular class again, mentioning the small fire as a reason. She seemed distant, unphased by it all and just shrugged. They were kind of off today, she finally admitted. As soon as I walked out onto the street I burst out laughing. How do I have such little control of classrooms in this country??

Talkin´ Bout My Reputation.

6-11-09

I think I ruined my reputation today. All during training we talked about the importance of maintaining a good reputation in site. Paraguay is a country that loves to gossip. It is small, eevryone is related, people travel to work, ther eis not much entertainment. They´re good at it. Some of the gossip is just absurd. Some gets turned around so that it is just silly. I told my host family during training that my parents in the US live in the country and that we used to have a horse. This turned into the fact that my parents are dairy farmers. What? Much more ridiculously is another volunteer´s story. Apparently his town was convinced that he killed someone in the US and was sent to Paraguay to do community service as punishment. Obviously the US government would send him elsewhere to work with kids and local governments...

Back to my own reputation, I just don´t think my barrio´s kids are going to be very happy to see me anymore. Sure, I´m working with the community kitchen thing, playing games, and attempting to teach them to whistle through their hands, but today I walked around helping give vaccinations. The kids were so happy to see us at first. Most seem really thrilled to have me up close and personal to stare at. Then comes some sort of drop in their mouth. I gave that. It isn´t the best tasting thing in the world, but most kids take it without much fuss. Then come the shots. By the end of our visit the kid is screaming, bawling, and glaring at us. I wish I had brought lollypops. I was thinking about how many people I know have fears of needles. Maybe this helps with some of that fear. Perhaps it only helps curb the fear of the doctor´s office. I was also thinking about my Aunt Sally--my mom´s aunt who was the nurse at our pediatrician´s office and has the shakiest hands I´ve ever seen. Watching that needle tremble violently into my skin was trully terrifying each time...but she never missed. I also saw a really gnarly parasite in a girl´s arm. ¨Does it hurt and itch? That is because it is trying to get out.¨ I have never seen anything like it.

Although my assignment is Urban Youth, I live in the campo. Today I realized that more than ever. I wasn´t in my barrio exactly but very close. Villa Madrid, where I live, is 3 blocks wide, starting at the main road and working its way down a big hill then up another for about 35 blocks. There are two bus lines that go into the Villa, and they travel on the cobblestone road. Everything else is dirt, with some gravel. Running along the north long side of the villa are asentamientos. I don´t know what that translates to but they are shacks made of wood, metal sheets, and occasionally cement blocks. The people in them are squatting. They´re mostly families from the Villa who have been promised housing bu without a timeline. There are lots of lone lightbulbs that you can see glowing at night. I have been told most take water from houses in Villa Madrid to bathe, do laundry, and clean dishes. Those asentamientos have been around for more than a year and reallyhave no idea when they´ll actually own the land. Today I walked through the asentamientos along the south side of Villa Madrid to do the vaccinations. I think I´m going again Wednesday morning.

Kids: The New Bane of My Existence.

6-6-09

I was thinking this morning about the ironies and random pieces of my current daily life. I bucket bathe. I heat up water while I heat up whole milk on the stove for my cafe con leche. I eat my white bread with my coffee, then pour the hot water into a big basin, then add room temperature water from one of the buckets found in the bathroom. (The buckets are filled with the trash cans of water we fill when the water is on.) I then do a great deal of dancing and gasping as the hot water leaves me freezing and drying while I lather up. I get dressed. Then I blow dry my hair. What? In Peace Corps? There is straightener that I could use if I wanted. As a quick note, I will not be blow drying in the summer...it is just a nice way to be warm briefly. Also, I get pedicures. This strikes me as especially not Peace Corps but I`m so afraid of the pique that invade feet and lay eggs. I`m nervous that I won`t see them myself. (I haven`t--knock on wood--had any...yet.)

I also found myself thinking this morning about the volunteer I`m following up. When she got her bike from PC she put on her helmet (PC mandatory) and went for a ride. Kids promptly started throwing rocks--at her helmetted head! And hit it! I was thinking of this story because it makes me generally happy. And then, karma hit me like a rock. Oh, no--wait! That was actually a rock, thrown at me by either a Hellian in my 7th grade class or one of his little lackies. The real bitch of it was that I had paused on my run to talk to them because of that kid, then I went to continue on and got nailed by the rock. I didn`t even know how to respond. I may not like kids at all by the end of the two years--underwear on my head AND a rock pelted at me in the same week?? Only what? Like 100 weeks to go?

Animal Skins

6-5-09

The coordinator of PREA invited me to come back today because the American school from Asunción is coming. I was here to pick up a bunch of saplings with an eleventh grade class last week so they could plant them in their school yard. Animal skins--crocodiles, birds, some sort of jungle cats, sheep, maybe the shell of an armadillo--hung all around me in the open air dining room while I waited. PREA is a private organization that stands for Parque Recreativo Educativo Ambiental (Ambiental means Environmental...I hope you can figure out the rest). They have animals that you can rent for animal husbandry, but most of the farm environment is for show. They teach kids how to milk cows, teach them about the crocodiles they have in their swamp, have them feed a bunch of animals, show them how to compost, and all sorts of other stuff.

And my small world experiences keep happening. Out of the two teachers from the American School who came to PREA with the 45 students, one is from the Eastern Shore of Maryland and went to Gettysburg College for a year before transferring. The American School is a prestigious private school consisting of a lot of Embassy kids and rich Paraguayan kids. It was interesting going from PREA with them to my seventh grade class where they can`t afford books or any other suplies. I did a leadership charla with them where we talked about good vs bad qualities of a leader. The teacher stayed in the room, which I appreciated, but also answered a HANDFUL of questions aimed at the kids, which was obnoxious. The kids also elected a class government but didn`t talk about the responsibilities of each official and none could tell me why they wanted a government. It basically became a popularity/boy vs. girl contest. Odd but not surprising.